Thursday, August 30, 2007

I Am Woman Hear Me Roar

We had a little incident this morning. Trying desperately to be on time, as we're running out the door, I tried to close the door to my house and it wouldn't shut. My son probably heard more swear words this morning (and he's heard ALOT) than he's ever heard before. The door WOULD NOT close, WTF. What's a single homeowner to do at 8AM? Call in reinforcements? No can do, every one's going to work. Pay someone, probably not. I will try it fix it myself!

Went to work for a bit, then came home. Opened the windows, turned on the iPod and got to work. Oh, snap, I need some sort of anchor for the screw. Go to the hardware store, get said anchor, it costs a whoping $0.09. I can't even leave the hardware store without spending more money, so I find some door knobs that will work perfectly for other doors. Stop at liquor store (open at 10AM?) to get some beer...working on the house and drinking beer go hand in hand, as I have learned from my dad.

Should be all set. First objective, remove the old door knob and dead bolt. Check. Read instructions for new set. WTF. Who do they write these instructions for? People who know what they're doing, that's who. I'm going to have to wing it. I get going, door knob, check. Dead bolt, not check. This is impossible. Totally impossible. Keep trying, keep trying, 1 1/2 hours later. Done, Done, Done!!!!!! Jump for joy!!!! Go to leave....the door won't shut. WTF, WTF, WTF!!!!!!!!!!!

Turns out, it's not the door, but the door frame that's the problem. I call it the "catch". Oh, well, at least I have a new dead bolt.

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