There's ALOT Goin' On

I've been out of commission for a while, but here's everything I've been wanting to tell y'all:

Kathy Griffin Is AMAZING, Oh, and I Fell
I had the great pleasure of visiting Chicago this past weekend, for the main purpose of seeing Kathy Griffin, but also to visit my old college roomie. We had a great visit. We went out Friday night to Rush Street, after leaving the stupid bar that stupidly closed at 2:00 in search of a bar that stayed open later (mama needs to drink), I'm telling my friend, "You know, I ALWAYS fall in these shoes," BAM, I bit it. Right on the corner, with everyone watching. My purse broke and the guy behind me said "I'm gonna follow you all night, just so I can see THAT happen again!" Asshole. So there you have it, I have fallen recently, fortunately, no injuries, just my purse that hopefully my mommy can fix.

The next night, we headed to the dinner then the Chicago Theater for Kathy Griffin for a show to start at 10:30. Mind you, 10:30 was already pretty late, but when we got there, there was a line out front that went around the block-in both directions-which we had to wait in for approximately 45 minutes. Luckily, it wasn't too hot or too cold and we happened to be in just the right spot to see Padma, Dale and Gayle from Top Chef get out of their car. I about shit my pants, I was jumping up and down and probably made too big of a deal of it, as the gays we were talking to pretty much didn't talk to us after that.

The show was FANTASTIC, I recommend it for anyone who loves her brand of comedy. I didn't even remember we had to wait for forever to see her.

Hi, My Name's Rebecca, And I'm an Inappropriate Toucher
I tend to believe that I'm friends with strangers, more so than they do. Regarding the above referenced gays, I didn't mention that I grabbed one of their arms while jumping up and down. Maybe that's why they didn't talk to us any more?!

In Von Mauer on Monday, I bought some Clinique and then found out that Bonus started on Wednesday. This always happens to me. So, the lady very graciously offered for me to order some more items and she'd send them. I told her, no, I'd come back. Then I basically had to fill out all of the same stuff, so I told her to just send it. I then called myself retarded. To make things more awkward, I touched her arm and told her thanks, she been very helpful. I don't think the touch was well received. To make matters worse, after I left, I heard my name over the loud speaker to go back to the cosmetics area. Were they going to arrest me? No, they just needed the expiration from my card, duh.

I Know I Love My TiVo....
Since I had the stomach flu for a few days, I've spent my week in bed watching TV. I actually also needed the time to catch up on everything I'd TiVo'd over the last few weeks (my body knows when I need to catch up on TiVo). I was watching an episode of Pushing Daisies and saw a commercial for an Elton John concert. Phone in hand, I'm ready to call and get tickets, if need be, for myself only. Then I see the date, October 12. I'm going through my mental calendar, do I have anything on that date. Well, I did, but it was also over two weeks ago. Damn it.

There's A Difference Between Kid Magicians and Adult Magicians

On Saturday, I had the pleasure of seeing not one, but two magicians (and I wasn't in Vegas or anything). The first was the "kid" magician at a children's Halloween party. Mr. Nick was great, for a magician from Oelwein, IA, he was great! The kids LOVED him and had soooo much fun watching him. Mr. Nick was extremely talented in the balloon area (swords, flowers, vampires, you name it!) and had the patience of a saint.

Later that night, I saw the "adult" magician. I don't remember his name, he was supposed to be a comedian, but he turned out to be a comedian/magician. This guy also did balloon things, his was a penis with balls hat. He, too, was great. I really like it when they embarrass audience members, as long as it's not me. He did some basic card tricks, he made a $50 bill from a girl in the audience reappear in an orange, and he did some trick with scarves, bras, and underwear.

Now, Mr. Nick's magic wasn't hard to figure out. It was pretty basic. However, my "adult" magician had me perplexed. I love magic, but I don't get it. It makes me feel stupid and excited all at once. A good day indeed!

Held Hostage in Africa

We were in Kansas City for the weekend for a friend's birthday party and I decided to make a weekend out of it and take Will to the zoo. The Kansas City zoo is deceptively GINORMOUS. We were having fun, doing the little things, then we get to "Africa" and realize there's no easy way out. It was hot, hot, hot, and all of the snack places were closed for the season. To add to the mess, it was apparently monsoon season in Africa. Did I mention my friend had her five-month-old little sweet baby in his not-waterproof stroller? We had nowhere to go. Eventually we made our way to the tram and got back to Kansas City. Whew!

It was a fun day, however. Will and I rode a camel, I had a Larakeet on my head and shoulder, we saw baboons go apeshit on a zoo guest, watched a gorilla get fed, fell in love with meerkats, and, even though I was wearing flip flops in the rain, no accidents!!

You're Never Too Old to Try New Things

Fortunately for me (and not for you) I haven't been injured in a long time, despite ample opportunity! I think it's like how a watched pot doesn't boil. I've even taken to trying all types of new things I've never done/had before! I'm almost 30, I'd better get everything in before I enter the "elderly" category! Many things I've already talked about on my blog, but the list is impressive (according to me!):

• I tried chicken/hot/buffalo wings. Not sure what they're actually called, but since they can be dipped in ranch, I love 'em!
• I jumped/swam/tubed/boated in lake for the first time. I didn't die and I should probably apply for Survivor! However there is some weird deadly amoeba that lurks in lakes, swims up through your nose into your brain. Mostly in Texas, Florida, and Arizona, so I may steer clear of lakes in those states.
• I wore sensible shoes to a football tailgate---it makes a world of difference.
• I ate ribs. Probably won't do it again, but at least I tried.
• I changed a lock, not once, but twice. My sister stayed at my house for the weekend and when I came home, she said the deadbolt didn't work. Fixed, no problem, I'm a pro!
• Went to a Boy Scout meeting (for my son)!
• Will played on the Burger King playground equipment and I didn't freak out and tell him he was going to die of germs! I kind of forgot about germs. We've both had a cold ever since, so I think I'll try to remember next time.
• I've been drinking beer instead of mixed drinks. Not always, but I'm trying to stick with the "Liquor before beer you're in the clear; beer before liquor, you've never been sicker" rule. If I'm someplace where beer is served (like an outdoor festival or concert) I'll drink the beer and stick with it. I even have some beer in my fridge (left over from home improvement projects).

I guess what I'm getting at is that I'm not set in my ways, I'm young, vibrant, and the world is my oyster!!!

It's 9:00 Do You Know Where Your Tylenol PM Is?

Last night was kind of hectic because we didn't get home until 7:50, so I had to get Will in the bath, get the garbage out, talk on the phone...the usual. In the midst of all of this, I'm not sure if I took my Tylenol PM.

For those of you who know me, you know I'm a frequent and habitual user of the stuff. I take it every night to make sure I stay asleep. If I think I've run out or dropped my last pill, I'm like a crack fiend. You can imagine when I couldn't remember if I'd taken it how I felt.

I called my friend who is a nurse and asked if I could just go ahead and take two more, just in case. The answer was no and that I already sound like I'd taken it--that's new, a phone diagnosis just from my slurred words, nice. I was stirring and stirring. Maybe I can just take one, that way I won't OD if I'd already taken some. I went so far as to get the one pill out of the bottle, but then I stopped myself.

I know when kids are sick (I'm not sick) you can give them both acetaminophen and ibuprofen, so I'll just take some ibuprofen. As I'm fumbling around looking for the ibu, my son is asking "What are you doing, mom?" and like a true drug addict, I said "Don't worry about it, go to sleep!" I took two ibu and went to sleep.

What is wrong with me?