I'm Going for Noctuplets!!!!

So, this woman with the Octuplets. Single, living with her parents, already had six children, and is shopping her story around to the highest bidder. Word is she'll get around $2mil for her story. Just for having Octuplets.

How can one person possibly take care of 8 babies and 6 children ages 2-7. How in the hell can anyone not named Brad and Angelina take care of that many kids? And, how can she possibly work? She must be on the dole. So technically, we're paying for these babies. All because some crazy fertility doctor took on her crazy mission to implant 8 embryos. WTF!!! We, as humans, are not meant to have litters. I believe the amount of children you should have is directly proportionate to the amount of nipples you have for feeding them. That's how it works in the animal world.

I blame Jon and Kate.

By the way, when I spellchecked this, Octuplets is not a word. Coincidence?!?!

Where Has All the Fun Gone?

In about a week, I will be 31 years of age. I know, I don't look a day over 27, right? What's troubling me is how responsible I've become. I don't know when it happened. Perhaps sometime between age 29 and now, I've learned my lessons and have found a proper way to live my life. Good, you say?! Yes, good, but BORING. I am bored out of my mind. Living the "good" way is not as much fun as the manic and erratic lifestyle I'm used to.



I distinctly remember sitting on my couch when I lived in Washington DC saying, "I can't imagine ever not going out on a Friday or Saturday night!" My how times have changed. I still really like to go out, but I'm lacking in partners in crime, plus the hangovers nowadays are nothing to mess with. Not to mention how long it takes to get ready and figure out logistics. It is actually a lot easier to forgo the fun and just stay in. Even on the rare occasions when I do go out I usually go home BEFORE the bar closes. What's up with that? NOTE: As I write this "old me" is turning over in her "grave".



The other stupid responsible thing I've been doing is keeping track of how much money is in my account. I know that's something I'm supposed to do, but I used to just fly by the seat of my pants and hope there was enough money. It wasn't fun, but at least it kept things interesting. Now, I check my balance and if I don't have money, I don't spend money. Totally boring.



I'm in desperate need of something to shake things up in my life...or I might end up getting a tattoo. It'll probably something responsible if I do, like "A bird in the hand..." or whatever that saying is.

Pants Optional

Not to get all Jerry Seinfeld on you ass, but "What's will all of the people not wearing pants?" First it was Madonna on her Stick and Sweet Tour (gross title by the way)... http://www.stuff.co.nz/images/750849.jpg
Then Beyonce and Justin Timberlake (Beyonce really wore that while performing - by herself)... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5qx-MVrXfk
...and then the illustrious Lady Gaga (I've seen this in person)http://www.angelawieland.com/images/portraits/portraits-14a-lady-gaga.jpg

When did pants become optional? I understand, you know, swimsuits....but other than that, I'm not sure I find this trend appropriate. Would you show up to a bar, club, Target or work without pants? Now they need to change the signs to say: "No shirt, no shoes, no pants, no service".

Who Says Costumes are Fun?

Halloween has been a real nightmare for me this year. William is at such an "inbetween" age. At first he wanted to be something from Star Wars, but I vetoed that because that's not cute. Then he wanted to be a pirate. Well all of the pirate costumes are really cheap looking and thin and stupid. So we settled on a dinosaur. After unsuccessfully bidding on eBay for several dinosaur costumes, we went back to the Internet for ideas. You'd be surprised the costumes they have out there for little boys. To name a few:

Soul Taker
Dementor
Death Scream
Axe Murderer
Gladiator of Doom
Sailor of Death
Jack the Ripper
Death Eater
Captain Sea Plague
Corpse Klown (sic)
Lord Dark Skull
and my favorite....
Child Pimp

A pimp. Seriously? What's he going to say when he goes to some one's door "Yo, trick, where's my treat?"

Needless to say, William will be none of the above. Stay posted...we may have agreed on a costume concept that fulfills both of our requirements!

Who Wants Balls

As I'm driving down the road, I see a truck with a pair of "balls" hanging from the hitch.  I've seen this before, but this time I had my camera.  You might think this is common in Iowa, but it isn't.  And before you think, "Oh, this guy's kind of funny," I have to tell you the rest of the story.  So as drive past in an effort to take the picture, I notice this dickwad has a confederate flag attached (probably stapled) to the roof of his truck.  Then, I noticed the license plate holder had a confederate flag on it.  What year is it?  People are idiots...here's your proof.

More Shows

I remembered that I also watch the following:

Tuesday
Law & Order SVU

Wednesday
Lipstick Jungle
Dirty Sexy Money
Pushing Daisies

Let's Talk TV

I love fall. Not only is the weather unbelievable, but it ushers in the new TV season. If you know me, you know that TV is possibly my only "hobby" and that I should be paid for watching it. My friend Mere asked me what I was watching and I proceeded to give her this list:

Monday
Gossip Girl
Heroes
Prison Break
Boston Legal
Plus...Lost reruns are on the SciFi channel

Tuesday
90210
Dancing With The Stars
Biggest Loser

Wednesday
Project Runway
America's Next Top Model

Thursday
Ugly Betty
Survivor
Grey's Anatomy
The Office
ER

Friday
The Game

Saturday
I catch up on all of the stuff I've recorded

Sunday
The Amazing Race
Desperate Housewives
Brothers and Sisters
Army Wives
Dexter
Entourage

I'm sure that I have other things recorded on Wednesdays, but I can't even remember! Not to mention, BET runs re-runs of The Wire everynight of the week, which I record.

This TV lineup is exhausting. I couldn't even pick up any new shows!

I know some people (or one person in particular) will say that their lives are too exciting and they don't need to watch or discuss TV, but since I am a single mother, we spend a fair amount of time at home. Once homework, dinner, bath, and snuggling are done, I can't just leave, so I'm at home, watching TV. I wouldn't change it for the world!